Don’t take things for granted

Assalamualaikum

Hi to my favorite month! Hehe I cannot believe it, I am going to turn 26 really soon! To be really honest it scares me so much. You are getting older, and what have you done for the past 26 years of your living?

I haven’t done much in my life. You think back, you look around and you compare and you feel like what you have achieved isn’t enough. Something is not completed yet. But then again, have you ever felt grateful for that small things you have gotten? Sometimes, I forget how lucky I am for having sucha amazing mother and a very supportive siblings, how blessed I am for getting the most noble profession in this world, how fortunate I am for still and breathing without any difficulties

You have to appreciate those small things that you think are not enough for you. Be grateful and thankful always. Your heart is still beating. You still can eat and talk to your beloved ones even they are not in front of you, you still can wear nice clothes even they are not branded, you still can sing even sometimes its out of tunes, you still can get anything that you want, its just you have to be more patient. Your time is different from the others and so does them

I know its not easy to comfort your own self. I have been trying too. Every time I feel like I am losing myself, I will go to my friend that I think he somehow can make me feel calm. But the best communicator for you is your Creator, He knows what do you need the most. He is the Knower of everything. Go talk to Him through your prayer. I cry a lot. If my tears could turn into money, I would be a millionaire woman now, or maybe the most richest woman in Malaysia #nojoking. Remember, everything that you are having now its a phase of your life. I talk that to myself a lot

He has given me so much without I am realizing it. He lets me meet with someone who changed me into a better person, He gives me chance to live my life, He gives you a healthy mind so that you can think what’s good and bad for you, that’s you should feel grateful too

I think its time to say good night. I have an event tomorrow and need to wake up a bit earlier (cause have to make up lol)

Bye!

Advertisements
Posted in everyday things | Leave a comment

Dear Raya

Assalamualaikum

Today is 10th Syawal. How crazy time flies. My school break ends today and it means I have work tomorrow! I cannot wait to get back to work and get busy hehe. This year’s Raya, I did not take much photos. We celebrated our Raya without my father. It was our first time celebrating Raya without a complete family

I was crying so hard when I met my father. So does my brothers. My mother was waiting us at home and we made our meeting with our father so quickly but memorably. It was so hard for me. Never would I imagine I had to celebrate Raya like this. I don’t want to share everything in my blog cos I want to keep it privately. I am sorry bloggy! You will understand right?

Soon after we met our father, we head to my aunty’s house. We stayed there for a few hours and then we went to Putrajaya for photo session! Hehe it was my idea actually. I should have thought this when my father was still with us. Anyway, when we arrived there, it was so packed with people! Guys! Don’t you have kampungs to visit?!

unnamed

Excuse you, that is my sunglasses okay

unnamed (1)

We took tons of photos but of course I had to choose the best and decent ones hehe. Everyone was so happy and that was all matters to me. Shortly after photo session, we continued our journey to visit our kampung! It was our tradition to go visit my father’s side of family. Even my father was not with us

I had a good time when I stayed at my kampung. We stayed there for 3 days and we back to our house on 3rd Syawal. Oh did I say about beach? On our way back to our house, we stopped by at the beach hehe since my sister was so insisted to go there. It was almost late evening so we didn’t stay longer and it was scorching hot too okay! Haha

So here we are now on 10th Syawal. Yesterday, I met my cousions and I had a good food too! That is what I love about Hari Raya celebration hehe

unnamed (3)

Only 3 of us. The other three were busy enjoying their holiday at Terengganu!

unnamed (2)

My nephews and I call them little trouble makers too

unnamed (4)

It would be much beautiful if my father was in the picture too. But that’s okay, you know that He knows what is the best for you and your family. Don’t stop hoping and praying! Trust Him, always

I hope you guys have a wonderful Raya as much as I enjoyed my Raya too despite everything that has happened to my family. Now let’s back to reality. Cannot wait to meet my students tomorrow! Hehe

Bye!

 

Posted in celebration, family | Leave a comment

28th of Ramadhan

Assalamualaikum

My long break has started! I am officially out of work for 12 days! Haha. Today’s post is going to be so important. Life experiences made you matured. You don’t really have time for small problems

I have came to the conclusion that I am going to take a break from social media for 12 days or maybe more. I have logged out all my accounts. By saying this, I mean all from chatting applications too. If you are my real friends, I am giving you guys a heads up so please don’t send me any messages unless it’s very important and if you cannot reach me, just ring me okay? I am always on for phone calls haha

I want to focus more on myself. I have been neglecting myself a lot. I didn’t love myself as much as I loved other people in my life. It’s time to love myself more. You are reaching 26 soon! I have been so busy taking care of others people’s feelings to the point I almost forgot that I am alive here and still breathing. Do something for yourself too!

What you have been doing just for yourself? I haven’t done a lot to be honest. I still don’t know how to professionally doll up, how to control my eating habit, how to apply for house loan, how to control my emotions, how to drive a car, how to properly cover my aurat and so many things that I am actually need to learn

I am going to take things slowly but surely. All I can do is just plan but everything is up to Him. He is the best planner after all. I am leaving this post up in here and I will be back soon for more serious talk and maybe Raya photos too haha

Bye!

Posted in dona | Leave a comment

Cahaya Preshoot Raya 2018

Assalamualaikum

Last week I had Preshoot Raya with my students. You know that I am always feel overly emotional when it comes about my students. 6 of them will be leaving me soon. They are going to big school. That’s life. Life is cruel. Do you guys really have to go to big school?! I have been with them for almost 2 year. I have seen how much they have grown up. I feel like it was just yesterday they were crying for their parents and now they are gonna cry because of me! I hope they will join my crying fest when they are leaving later haha

Okay let’s not talk about that. They are not going to leave me this soon. This is why I love my blog so much. I can leave all these pictures in here and if my phone decides to betray me, I have this blog to store in all these adorable photos of them!

We have 5 more days left before Ramadhan ends. This year’s Ramadhan makes me closer to Allah more. I feel so thankful. I do not update my social media as much as I used to, I do not read English books that often now since Ramadhan comes. And despite all the hardship that I have been going through recently, I believe in Him. He knows what’s the best for me. With a few days left, let’s maintain the good spirit!

unnamed (3)unnamed (4)unnamed (5)unnamed (6)unnamed (7)unnamed (8)unnamed

Only one student was absent. I have 5 girls and 9 boys. Wow I have 14 kids! Haha

unnamed (1)unnamed (2)

Selamat Hari Raya from us!

Bye!

Posted in being a teacher | Leave a comment

Ramadhan and its blessing (and testing)

Assalamualaikum

I have been away too long now. I am ready to share everything today. My last post was about me meeting someone that I told you guys, that someone is so important to my family

He who happens to be my mother’s regular customer, (my mother sells traditional food) who happens to be a Syarie Lawyer and a leader of a mosque too. Who I call him, ustaz. And we are 26 years old too! He has helped my family, especially my mother so much. I will never be able to thank him enough. What he has done to my family, what he has shared with my family is something that cannot be paid

My parents are divorced now. If you are my real friends, and you are reading this, I am sorry for not telling you guys this soon, but you have to know that I have my reasons to keep it from you guys. I don’t want my friends to feel that they have failed as my friends, that I don’t trust you guys. No you guys are still the best, it was just I want to do this alone. I know I can do this, I have to do this, I have to be strong. Not only for myself but for my family

My parents got divorced on May 20. Which was a week ago. I had been crying since I found out about it. There was nothing much I could do that time other than crying my heart out every night. My heart was aching so much. It took me a few days to wake up from grieving and started sharing with B about my family’s problem. She was so shocked and she’d never imagined my family would split. I kept it so well, so no one would realize what has been happening to my family. I played cool in front of my students, I acted like nothing actually happen to my family

Allah is the best planner. He lets you meet someone when He thinks that you are truly ready to meet someone. I have been busy helping my mother with documents she needs to settle and I hope that everything is going to be settled soon. I have been texting ustaz asking for his helps in this matter for a couple of days now. He has been so patient with me. He guided me on what should I do since my mother is a single mother now. You know that my emotions are so unpredictable that sometimes I don’t even understand myself

One time, I am all okay and cheerful when texting him, other time I feel like I want to scream at him for replying to my texts so late. Never once, he raised his voice at me. He speaks so calmly and he always listens. He makes me feel even more bad! I should have been more understanding! He is a freaking lawyer. He has his life too. He has helped you a lot, remember gurl? He wants nothing in return. So be grateful please. I need to train myself to be more rational when it comes about this, about him haha. I think I don’t click well with 26 years old guy haha

So to my beloved friends, if we meet later, please pretend you do not know about this. Let me share with you guys when I think I am ready to tell. Just keep it to yourself till then okay? You don’t want me to cry again. Let me keep my tears okay? I have cried enough haha and this is the only favor that I want you guys to do it for me

‘Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear..’

I am okay now. That you need to know. Life must go on. I have a new responsibilities to take care now. And deep down in my heart, I know I can do this. What I have been going through is something that Allah has planned and which He guaranteed I can handle. Life might be tough but we still have Him as our creator, who will always be there for us

And I am still the same gurl who breathes food, who has a soft spot for kids, who has a great liking for accessories and bags, who likes to dance even when she knows she is a total loser, and who loves to dream too! Hehe

Bye!

Posted in family, loved ones | Leave a comment

I found you!

Assalamualaikum

Remember yesterday’s post? I told you guys that I met someone I have shared about in here. I was so determined. I had to find that post. I couldn’t sleep last night. I was so curious. I checked all my old posts. I do not have any tags and make things more difficult. I only have specific category and every category has its own reason. Such as ‘Everyday Things’ is mostly about everyday thought or daily post. In other words, I want to remember all these posts I have updated

I clearly remember I tagged that post. The only post that has tag though. I found that post today! So excited to share it in here and that post was on April 2017. It has been a year. So ready to reread again?

Here. And my post’s title was ‘No one in particular’ Oh really now? Haha

We actually have met!

Bye!

Posted in everyday things | Tagged | Leave a comment

16th May 2018

Assalamualaikum

In Malaysia, we celebrate Teacher’s Day on 16th May. Every country has different date to celebrate it. Did you just know? So you are welcome haha. My school celebrated it 2 days earlier. We got so many presents from our students and also food! It was sucha blessing moment. Some of our students even asked their parents to buy us presents. We didn’t ask them okay! Haha

It was not me if I didn’t cry because of this

unnamed-2.jpg

It was given by my student. I don’t have a lot of medals, so you can say that this is the best medal I have received so far! I thought our Teacher’s Day celebration has ended but we were wrong when 2 days later, on 16th May, we got surprised delivery from our student’s parents!

unnamed-11.jpg

We felt so touched and appreciated. We also got lunch box! What did we do to deserve all these. We will forever feel so thankful!

On the same day of surprise delivery, I met someone. Someone that is so important to my family. It was my first time meeting him. I have shared about him in my blog but I cannot remember in which category did I post it #whatsnew #sighs. I do not share about him that often. We barely know each other though. Recently, we have been texting a lot. He is someone that I respect so much. Someone that I can look up. Someone that I can call, friend

I met him with my mother. We actually discussed something. Something that I cannot share yet in here. It is just so personal and I am actually not ready to tell. Do you know that my blog is everything to me. But this is just so.. Complicated to put it into words. I will surely share it but just not this sooner. So many things happened on that day. My heart went crazy. I cried a lot on that special day too. Well, I am a cry baby remember?

Do you remember about Kit? I have this strong feeling that I think he is actually just a mere crush. I don’t feel any special feeling anymore. Like its suddenly gone just in the blink of an eye. It’s scary to think about it. One minute you talk about him so sweetly but the next day, everything changes. I am not gonna remove his posts. Memories are meant to be kept right?

Anyway, salam Ramadham Kareem to all Muslims out there! May Allah makes our Ramadhan easy for this year ❤

Bye!

Posted in being a teacher | Leave a comment